First Time Dads | What Hot Moms Wish You Knew
Break out the cigars and brews, congratulations are in order, you are going to be a father! Without a doubt becoming a first-time dad is one of the most pivotal points in your life as a man. Sure, you “grew up” when you left the house and got married, but when your first child arrives, your whole world will change. But, before you can really be ready for that emotional, incredible moment when your child arrives, you have to learn how to be a dad. And, one of the most important aspects of preparing to be a dad is understanding the needs of your wife.
When it comes to pregnancy, giving birth, and raising children, most dads brush up on their knowledge of changing diapers, making bottles, and swaddling. Of course, all of those skills are utterly important, but there really is one more subject you should study while learning to be a new dad—the needs of your wife.
So, get ready to go to school boys. Because today we are going to talk about how to care for and understand your hot wife while she is pregnant, after giving birth, and throughout motherhood. Believe me when I say this is one lesson you certainly do not want to skip.
Imagine this…nine months of your body growing in ways you never thought possible. Your skin stretches, your face changes, everything feels….different. That’s pregnancy. Even though you might not see it from the outside, pregnancy is one of the hardest jobs your wife will ever have to do. From learning how to care for her body to learn what is best for the baby growing inside of her, pregnancy is all-consuming from the moment the “pregnant” symbol flashes across that test.
As a first-time dad, there are just a few lessons you should learn about your role in the pregnancy process. Because, like our friends over at Daily Parent said, dads are important during pregnancy too!
Lesson 1: Your Pregnant Wife Has A LOT of Feelings
Think back to the moment you and your wife learned you were pregnant, or the moment she announced it to you as a surprise. Certainly, you were feeling excitement and joy, but most likely nervousness and a little bit of fear too. Well, guess what—whatever feelings you were having, your wife was having them too…but also many, many, more.
Even if you and your wife have been planning to get pregnant for quite some time, the moment that it actually happens can be completely overwhelming. With one little plus sign, your wife’s entire life flashes before her eyes. She pictures her girls’ nights out changing to evenings spent in the rocking chair, her little black dresses hanging in her closet changing to mom jeans and t-shirts, and everything she once knew about juggling work and life completely going out the window. As happy and joyous as it is, her entire world has changed, and she might not know exactly how to handle it.
As a first time dad, understanding your wife’s emotions is imperative to a harmonious pregnancy. According to americanpregnancy.org, women experience a myriad of emotions during pregnancy. And, because of those hormones, you will never be able to fully comprehend the complexity of what your wife is feeling. However, you can respond appropriately. This means never brushing her weepy statements to the side, and laying down next to her in her towel because she just can’t seem to pull it together after getting out of the shower.
Don’t worry dads, if you think this sounds slightly crazy—this too shall pass. And, if you are able to make it through this first lesson with an A, you are on a path to a happy, healthy pregnancy.
Lesson 2: Your Wife is the Same Sultry Temptress She Was Before She Was Pregnant
Now that we’ve covered the surface of your wife’s emotional experience while she was pregnant. It’s time to dig in and get our hands dirty with the real deal. Your wife’s self-image. Remember how we discussed your wife’s life flashing before her eyes as soon as she found out she was pregnant? Well, when it comes to pregnancy, one of the things your wife is most worried about losing is her identity as the woman who caught your eye.
Yes, that’s right men. Your pregnant wife is worried about losing her sex-appeal. And, it shouldn’t be a secret. She knows that you love her body right now, but she also knows her body is going to change. She’s not sure how she will look in maternity clothes, if she will be able to find any way to flatter her growing figure, and if she’ll still be able to “turn it on” when things are heating up. As a woman, this is utterly terrifying.
To help your wife through this difficult mix of emotions and self-doubt during pregnancy, let her know how beautiful she is. The Enclosed Blog has some great ideas in their article 11 Ways to Make Your Pregnant Wife Feel Special. Whatever you do, just make sure you tell your wife how you feel about her. Tell her in the morning when she wakes up, tell her when she puts on her clothes for work, and tell her when she is fresh out of an evening shower with a still wet head. Express the aspects of her changing body that you love, caress her curves, and admire her strength. After all, there’s nothing sexier than a strong woman—am I right?
Of course, there are still more topics that we could cover on the subject of caring for your wife while she is pregnant, but we’re going to move on to one of the more complicated topics of today’s lesson—what your HOT wife wishes you knew about giving birth.
No matter how you slice and dice this one, it’s a messy subject. Whether your wife experiences a vaginal delivery or a c-section, you guys she is a freakin’ rock star, superhero, queen of the world, angel of God. Her body just carried a HUMAN being for nine months and now she either pushed it from her body or went under the knife for a major surgery. And, (not to be rude) but since your body cannot do the things your wife’s body just did—there’s bound to be a few things you need to learn.
Lesson 3: Your Wife Needs Your Admiration
After giving birth, a woman’s body goes through a drastic hormonal change. I mean, BAM! One minute there was another human inside her body and the next minute it’s out in the world. There are bound to be a few things that get turned upside down and one of them (as we already talked about) is her emotions. Birth is one of the most difficult things your wife will ever do, and therefore she deserves your praise.
You have to believe that the praise your wife craves after giving birth is not self-seeking at all. She knows she just did something extraordinary. But, now that she completed something so amazing, she is terrified that for the next 18+ years of her life she is going to mess everything up. Therefore, by praising your wife after she gives birth and reminding her how absolutely incredible you think she is, you are bringing her back to the fact that she just completed one of the hardest tasks on earth. And, that all she needs to do right now is relish in her accomplishment and new bundle of joy. There’s always enough time to worry later.
Lesson 4: Help Your Wife Through Her Healing
Remember that sexy woman you met? Remember, taking her on dates and soaking in her beauty? Remember the moment you fell in love? Remember your wedding night? Well, that sexy, beautiful, amazing woman you love just went through an incredible, physical experience. Now, her body needs to heal—and, she needs your help.
To put it lightly, your wife’s body after birth isn’t going to be pretty (just telling the truth). Sure, what they just accomplished is absolutely beautiful. However it’s no secret that for the first few weeks after giving birth, things are simply not the same. Skin sags here and there, certain parts aren’t in the places they once were, and her entire body hurts. Don’t worry though. Everything will make it back to its natural place eventually, it just takes a little bit of healing.
Today’s Parent has a great article about helping your postpartum wife. But you should know that the one cardinal rule for after your wife gives birth is don’t mention the fact that everything is out of place. Don’t mention that she has millions of bottles of tucks pads and pain relieving spray sitting next to the toilet; get her more, stock the supplies, help her to the bathroom, provide clean and comfortable clothes when she gets out of the shower, and remind her that you think she is still (and will always be) the best woman on the face of the earth.
By helping your wife through her birth experience and the healing afterward you will be reminding her that she is still #1 in your books. You will be reminding her that you will ALWAYS think she is sexy even if she thinks there is absolutely no way she will ever feel the same again.
Lesson 5: Let Her Take the Lead on Sex
Alrighty, guys, we’re going to talk about it. The one subject every man (and let’s be honest, even woman) wonders about after they give birth….”When will we have sex again?”
This lesson is short and sweet: when your wife is ready.
Men, your wife still wants to have sex with you. Truthfully, she does. But, honestly, it might not cross her mind for a while after giving birth. Of course, you should always regard the doctor’s orders regarding intercourse after birth, but don’t think that just because the “sex ban” is over according to the doctor’s orders your wife is ready to go. When your wife is ready to have sex after giving birth, she will let you know—loud and clear.
Just remember, sex after birth can be a little bit scary for your wife. She just pushed a baby out. If she seems apprehensive once she gives you the green light, that’s completely normal. You can help her by taking things nice and slow and by reminding her how amazed you are at her strength and beauty. Your wife wants to feel sexy and tempting when the time comes around to get under the sheets, so do your best to help her feel that way.
After pregnancy and giving birth comes parenthood. For first-time moms and first-time dads alike, navigating this uncharted territory can be utterly confusing and scary. But, like the Abundant Mama says, the secret to a happy marriage is parenting together. So dad, you better get ready to learn your role.
Lesson 6: Remember, She’s not ONLY a Mom
This lesson for first time dads is pretty basic, but of the utmost importance. When you and your wife become parents, you are becoming parents TOGETHER. Even if your wife stays home, it is not her sole calling and duty in life to take care of the children.
Just like you have a job and have an identity outside of the household, your wife does too. Sure, she has taken on the title of mom with great pride, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a WHOLE LOT more underneath her ketchup-stained shirt and messy-bun hair. She’s still smart, cunning, funny, and of course, the sexy woman she was before she bore your children.
So, if you want to navigate this period of life doing the best that you can for your wife and your kids, you need to acknowledge the fact that you and your wife are a team. Acknowledge her other roles in life. Have adult conversations with her that aren’t about the kids. Seek her opinion regarding your experiences. All of these things will help her to feel appreciated and like she hasn’t completely lost the identity she once had.
Lesson 7: Help Her Out
Yes, this means that as a dad you are going to have to change some diapers. Like we talked about before, you and your wife are in this experience together. You made a child together and now you need to raise them together.
To help your wife with her role as a mother, she wants you to know that you can take the lead on certain activities. Perhaps you make it your duty to always feed your child their dinner. Or, you help her out by taking over late night feedings so she can get some extra sleep. But, the one thing your wife REALLY wants you to know is, no matter what you decide to help with it feels the best when you do it with joy. Seeing you happy and helping with your children is one of the biggest turn-ons. So, get to changing those dirty diapers—hint, hint!
Lesson 8: Date Your Wife
When your children are growing up, there is nothing more important to your wife than making sure they are healthy and maintaining the relationship she had with you before they were born. Men, you can help your hot wives out with this by taking her out on dates. (If you need more reasons than that, here are three…) Although the two of you might spend plenty of time together at home, there is nothing like giving your wife the opportunity to get dressed up, feel her best, and enjoy a night out.
If you are dating your wife and treating her like the apple of your eye that she always was and always will be, everything else about parenting and being a father will fall into place. Your relationship, sex life, and everything in between should come first. After all, your wife will still be there after all the kids are grown and gone.
Although these lessons are only the basics of what it takes to be a good first-time dad and husband to a first-time mother, they will certainly start you off on the right path. The most important lesson that you can take away is to always remember that you and your wife are a team and that your hot, sexy wife has needs that you can, in fact, fulfill.
A message from your wife